I was in group the other day, we were talking about struggles with anxiety and stress. I shared that the reality about my anxiety is that it stems from areas of my life that I am trying to “control” and I can’t. In my fear I turn to obsessing and worrying about the uncontrollable and it creates a lot of anxiety in my life.
That is why admitting my powerlessness is so foundational to me being free.
Recently, I have become more and more aware of my physical diminishment as I turn 60. This is about the age my Dad was when he got diagnosed with cancer. So now a stomachache makes me question, could that be cancer? I’m the age he was when he was diagnosed—am I next? I start to become anxious about something I have absolutely no control over. I can’t control cancer, or getting older, and the inevitably that someday I will get sick, and I will die, and there isn’t anything I can do about that. I truly am powerless over getting older and what will come as I age.
If I let worry take over I become resentful with the realities of life, and eventually depression creeps up to stop me from obsessing. I have always heard that if you are surrendering to self-pity or resentment, you are headed toward isolation—I really relate to that.
A good friend of mine who participates in AA gave me a surprising solution to my worry. He said that a heart of gratitude is the perfect antidote for the anxiety that we feel when we cannot control things. I can already hear your comments…Gratitude? That’s the big solution? But this gratitude always comes through the attitude of acceptance.
“Whenever I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation-some fact of my life-unacceptable to me, and I find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.”[i]
Interesting concept isn’t it? Learning to be grateful for whatever is going on in my life at this moment, because I know it’s a part of God’s plan and there is something good that is going to grow out of it. Only then can I become grateful for the growth of my character through the most unacceptable of circumstances.
Too often, our gratitude is contingent on our lives going the way we want.
Folks, God just doesn’t working that way.
Paul asked God three times to remove his thorn and God said nope, I’m not going to do it because, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”[ii] In other words, God is saying, “Paul, be grateful for where you are and what it is that you are dealing with because I have a plan for it. I am taking care of it.”
Be grateful my friends and accept life for what it is today knowing that our hope is growing on the ground that we are standing.
[i] Alcoholics Anonymous “The Big Book” Chapter ‘Acceptance is the Answer’
[ii] Bible 2 Corinthians 12:9, English Standard Version